I Am Loved

I feel like I am ready to move on a bit. It has been slow going, a slow process to get here, but I feel differently than I did a year ago. Today for the first time ever I feel like I am moving on a little more. I feel like I am telling myself to move on.

At first, it feels traitorous to do so. I love my sister dearly and so deeply. How can I honor her memory if I move on? I think I am starting to reconcile these feelings. I can move along my path of healing a little more each day. I feel joy in life again. I feel like I couldn't imagine feeling for over a year. I am making new changes while still remembering with sorrow and fondness the memories of my sister, grandpa, and grandma.

Today it hit me  as I was writing postcards to all my family, when I got to writing my grandparents, that I am missing a whole set of grandparents. What a different world it is today. I am OK with that. I have new friends to make and people left to love. I have a God who knows me.

Breathing Fresh Air

Lately I feel more like I am growing and changing and breathing fresh air. I feel some sadness lifting and have found some joy. I feel like it is true that "You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness." Psalm 30:11.

Praise the Lord! I feel like I have hit a different path than the one I was on, but I had to get through the rocky mountains to see what lies ahead.