Today I had time to sit and think for a bit, and the thought came across my mind that you will never see 2014 on this earth. That's strange to me. If you take the two people in the world closest to you, and imagine what life looks like without one of them in it, it's a harsh reality.

I still can't wallow in my misery of throw myself a pity-party. Worse things have happened to people. This isn't the first time this has happened. I just never imagined life on my own so to speak.

I went back through my birthday cards from last year, after you died, and there was an absence of one with your handwriting for sure. I always looked forward to getting your cards.

Tonight I imagined playing a game from an app on my phone with you. It would be so fun to share it with you. The world is a very different place for me now. Sometimes it's even more confusing than it was before.

I listened to some of the Beth Moore live feed from Passion 2014 today. You would have loved listening to that too. We could have discussed the message together. Instead, I wrote about it in my prayer journal.

I find myself tonight oddly thinking that I can't wait until this is all over. It's more of a subconscious thought, because I really do enjoy life and the hopes we shared for the future even if they're not with you any more. It's like now I'm just waiting until we can be together again and there's this gap in time until I get there.