Tonight I am fighting it. My body feels sad but my brain is fighting against it. I don't want to be sad. I have some preconceived notion that 8 months is far too late to be crying and sad about it. I know that it would feel better to just cry and get it out and over with, yet I still fight it. Such conflict.
The other night I woke up in a good mood. I had a dream with you in it, only it was quite odd. You lived alone, no mention of your children or husband in my dream. That is where you are right now, so I guess it was fitting. It didn't strike me as odd until I woke up, but the dream was happy. My husband and kids and I were all staying at your place, and you had several rooms in your house. I was trying to convince Mom and Dad to stay at the house too so we could all be together.
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