I can't believe you're gone. I keep thinking strange things, like how you would be so upset about this. This feels like such a bad dream. On the one hand I know that this is reality. It is just so difficult to think of the future without you in it. You're there with me every step of the way. I go to sleep thinking of you and I wake up thinking of you. This is something I need you to go through with me but you can't.

Today's not really a very bad day. I cried the other night in my sorrow. I think it had been too many days since I last cried. I just don't know what to do with my life.